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To My Good Friend Miles Vigil

Miles,

I don’t know what caused you to take your life.  I don’t understand the pain you must have been feeling that left you without hope.  Oh, Miles how I wish I could have lent you some hope.  I accounted you a friend and brother in Jiu-Jitsu.  I am greaved that I didn’t communicate that more strongly.  Maybe then you would have realized that no matter how dark the night you weren’t alone.

I have so many questions, Miles.  You seemed the happiest I had know you to be.  What went wrong?  You seemed to have so much going for you.  Why did you want to throw it all away?

Miles, I will miss you.  I don’t mean just at class.  You were part of a small but close knit Jiu-Jitsu family.  It won’t be the same without you.  I will always remember your smile and the funny infomercial jokes you made.  I’ll look for you on the mat still.  I’ll be expecting you to come up the stairs in time for class.  I know you won’t be coming but it will feel like if I watch a little longer . . . you will.

Rest in peace, Miles.

Jiu-Jitsu is Life and Life is Jiu-Jitsu

6 Responses to “To My Good Friend Miles Vigil”

  1. My deepest sympathies.

  2. Wanted to let you know that this post and what you said to our class last night is appreciated by not only myself but all of us. It really hit home to me however.

  3. I wish I could remember all I said. I had a lot of pent up emotions. It all came from the heart and I meant what I said. Come talk to me and I will listen and withhold judgement. I will be a friend. I don’t want to see another member of my Jiu-Jitsu family lose hope and resort to death.

    Thank you for letting me know my message was received.

  4. Sorry to hear about this. My condolences.

  5. Thanks for writing this Jason. I feel the same..

  6. […] Jiu-Jitsu family that make the dojo home.  I told all of my BJJ family that day in class after Miles’s death that I would be there if anyone needed a shoulder to cry on or cheering up.  How I […]